What My Lent Tends To Be Like

This Lent has been difficult, which is very familiar to me because of past years. Every day, there seems to be a new trial that has me calling out to God for help and relief. It now also falls close to the anniversary of my mother's death which does not help, it seems to make matters a tad worse. I miss my mother terribly. I tend not to let it show but only to those who are close to me.

Who knows why I suffer greatly the time of Lent. It was explained to me by my then spiritual advisor that it may be because my heart is very close to God. I don't fully understand it, perhaps I won't until I see God face to face. I also tend to get weepy and feel like crying a lot now. I feel very lonely too. I only ask people to hang in there with me. I will try to do the best I can, and that may not be good enough, but it is all I can do.

Honestly,

Vicky

                                                     Test

As I walk along this 40 days path I come to more bumps than I care to mention. It is more than I can handle. Sometimes I want to cry, but the tears will not come. Have I become immune to the tears, are they all dry up? I become overwhelmed with it all. Does anyone understand? Maybe God's not there. Oh He has to be there, got to be there or I am dead. Help! My heart is true. Is there anyone out there that cares? I don't understand! Do they understand or do they even care? Walk on, walk on, I keep telling myself. It will be over someday. A great sigh of relief will I have. Oh if that were true. Sorry for my doubt. I love you, it will be alright, just hold on. Jesus.

* Written awhile ago