Back In The Field Again

     I still go back to that field. I still touch my heart. She is still there. It is still beautiful there. Lately, life has been really hard. I feel so sad and lonely. Even though the angel is still in my heart, I am lonely. I've lost the ability to feel her. I lost the ability to love myself. There is nothing but guilt left. I don't know why I go back to that field anymore.  
     One day found me in the field crying. Crying out in pain I have never known before. On that day, I felt a familiar presence. I know that presence. It can't be. I dare not look up.  I didn't want my heart to break even more. I began to cry even more. In the middle of my tears, I felt a loving touch. A touch that got more loving as minutes passed by.  I swallowed my sadness and looked up. It was the angel. She had come back. She came back for me. She smiled. I saw that beautiful smile again. She was just as beautiful as I remembered. The same white flowing gown and long dark hair. She was beautiful. 
     Her finger gently touched a tear that was rolling down my face and for a moment I saw a tear roll down her face. She was feeling my pain. More tears of my own began to flow at the sight. I put my head back down. Shame came over me. I made the angel cry. She sat down next to me and took me in her arms. She held me tight and we cried together. Somehow I became aware that I didn't make her cry, she was crying because she loves me. She was sad because of my sadness. Seeing me sad broke her heart. 
     In the middle of my tears, I began to feel safe. I felt comfort and warmth. Like in her presence once before, I felt so loved. She gently rubbed my back and continued to hold me close, letting me cry. She told me she has been with me, she has seen everything. I got worried and a questioning look came over my face. The angel smiled tenderly at me. No matter what happens in my life, I would always remain special to her. 
     She got up and offered me her hand once more. My heart was quieting down. I felt that peace again as I once did before. We walked through the field. The air was warm and breezy. The sky was a magnificent blue with beautiful white fluffy clouds. I saw all the beautiful flowers and trees blowing in the wind. We walked hand in hand, side by side. She smiled at me, glad that we were there together. I laughed at the joy I was feeling. 
     I began to skip. The angel followed my lead and laughed at my happiness. I looked at the field and I saw a large patch of purple violets.  I smiled the biggest smile and ran towards the flowers. I ran into the middle of them, laughing with joy. The angel lovingly stared at me. I told her that the violets had a special meaning to me. I sat down brushing my hands over them. They felt so good to me. I couldn't help but smile. I picked some, giving them to the angel. She took them and thanked me for making her a part of that special meaning. It was too wonderful to keep to myself.
     I suddenly felt very sleepy and let out a yawn, but it was a peaceful yawn. The angel came up beside me and allowed me to rest my head in her lap. I laid down and went to sleep for a while. When I woke up, she smiled and welcomed me, the sleepyhead back. I felt refreshed and hugged the angel. 
     We walked over to that oversized pound we'd been to before. The cool water felt nice to me. I dove in and swam for a while. The angel came swimming with me this time. It was great to have her as a swimming partner. We swam together and splashed each other lightly. We laughed a lot. After a while, we got out of the water and sat up on the bank, drying ourselves off in the warm sunshine. We watched the water and the wind blowing through the trees. 
     It was a gorgeous day. The sun was just beautiful in the sky. The angel was beautiful, everything was beautiful. I was filled with a happiness I never knew before. The angel put her arms around me and held me close to her. It felt so nice to be loved like that. 
     Some time past. We got up and walked back to the field. She talked to me and told me not to get so down on myself during the hard times. Life isn't always perfect and even though I wasn't perfect, she would treat me as if I was because she loved me so much. There wasn't anything that could change that fact. I was beautiful to the angel and the angel was beautiful to me. I couldn't help but get teary-eyed as she got ready to leave. I looked down but she wouldn't let me look down. She smiled and said there was no room for sadness that day and hugged me for a long time. She told me she loved me again. I told her how much I loved her. She kissed my cheek, reminding me that if I needed her, all I had to do was touch my heart and she would be right there. I watched her until I could no longer see her again and smiled. My eyes looked over the field touching my heart. She was still there.