One day, not long ago, I called my best friend. I was sobbing into the phone. "What is it, my friend? What is so wrong?" I knew she would understand. "I just lost something," was my reply. "What did you lose?" "My very special friend." "How? Vicky, talk to me." She knew who I meant. I cried for a minute or two. "I had to tell her. She wasn't talking to me and I got frightened of what she might have told me, and she couldn't, so I told her what was on my mind." My best friend knew what I told this friend. "I'm a loser! I hate myself and I'm a loser!" "Vicky, come on, you are not!" "I had to do it, I saw no other way. I had to be honest, she wasn't going to be." "I'm telling you, you did what you thought was right. You did the right thing. I'm your best friend, I know this hurts." "This hurts like hell." "I know it does, and I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." "She doesn't think, well, you know, does she?" "No. Even if she did, all that matters is what's inside you. You're a good person Vicks, you are a good person. I know you love her, but right now you're what's important. O.k., you hurt her, but you're hurt too. Stop taking all the blame. You are going to get through this. Take my hand and we'll go through this together." "Why haven't I lost you yet?" "And you never will. You know that. We've been through so much shit together, we've always been honest, even when it hurt, we've yelled at each other, not talked (never for long). We have understood when no one else did. I never once said that's it. You're my best friend, I'm always gonna love you. I know just about everything about you, even stuff you're afraid other people will turn away if they knew, which I doubt. This friend, believe it or not right now, from what you told me, loves you still, very much." "Yeah, whatever." "She does, and I love you, and that will never change. I know you've heard that before too. But, it's true. You will make it."
My friend, Suzanne would go
to hell and back with me and for
me, and she has.
-Vicky
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